Does That Make Me Crazy?

I have a little friend that some of you may recognise. I call her my Secret Crazy Lady.

She’s the one that rushes like a bull in a china shop through your head telling you to do stuff that you would NEVER want people to see.

My Crazy Lady visited today when I applied for a job on a casting website. Perfect casting for me, I wrote an amazing eye-catching letter. I had even played it before.

And within 30 seconds I got the automated rejection response.

Crazy Lady instantly demanded that I ring the production company and shriek “WHY?  Have you read my letter? Have you even looked at my profile?? No!  You don’t know what you’re missing! Damn you!  Damn you I say!!!”

Of course, I didn’t. I put Crazy Lady back in her box and got on with my day.

I firmly believe everyone has one.  She’s the one that made Americano with Soy want to grab the director by the collar and scream “But you said you’d definitely use me again!”

She’s the one that makes you list Circus Skills on your CV to make you stand out even though if a director stuck you on a trapeze you would probably break every bone in your body.

And its not limited to acting.  She also gets you those times when you like a guy and you find yourself stalking his Facebook evaluating his female friends to see if they are pretty.

Or when you finally get together with someone you’ve liked for ages, and you wake up in the night and want to take a picture of him asleep just to prove it had really happened.  Before remembering that is stalker behaviour.

Not that that was me.  Not at all. 

She is the voice of irrational paranoia.  Of spontaneous longing. Is it crazy? Is it normal human behaviour?  A fear of rejection not only from lovers but from a career that means everything in the world to you?

Those of you who have your own Crazy Ladies (or indeed Men) may well know what I mean.

Those who don’t.  You lie ;-) 

Frothy Mocha x